I was on exchange with the Zone Leaders when I was sick... and I did my best to push through it but boy is it hard to be motivated and excited to talk to people when you feel like crap. None the less, we had some pretty amazing lessons together in which the Spirit took over and we were able to be bold enough to keep a family on tract for being baptized this Saturday and a Father started on a road of repentance. Then... the next day I was able to go to 5 hours of church... without my companion. My comp stayed up all night not feeling well so I went with another Elder to church... and while we were at church... one of the Zone Leaders... not the one I exchanged with was feeling sick... so I finished church for him and he went home and did another exchange with my companion and slept all day. So therefore... I was substitute zone leader for the day... or at least that is the position I gave myself haha! I was still wiped out from being sick myself... but it was fun to be with Elder Matheny (the zone leader I just had an exchange with).
Also, some other crazy stuff happened in my district. I am now in a Tripanionship covering 2 full areas. An Elder in my district went home last night which was really tough and hard... but it will be for the best. Since I was substitute zone leader for the day too... we had to drive him up to Tehachapi which definitely wiped us out even more. Missions are something that cannot be done without the spirit. I could not make it through a single day as a missionary without the guidance, protection, and comfort that he brings. I hope you feel the same way about wherever you are at in your life. God is giving us help... just make sure you don't put your back to him. Know which way you face.
I learned a lesson from my zone leader while I was with him. We are God's tools... and if we are a broken tool (completely exhausted, without the Spirit, angry, etc.) then we are just as useless as a tool that sits on the shelf unused. We need to work hard... but we shouldn't break ourselves while we work. This is definitely a lesson I need to learn. I hate wasting time... and therefore I hate giving myself a break... but I am going to reevaluate in prayer and see what I can do better to let myself rest without wasting time so I never feel like a broken tool. I'm sure my companion will appreciate this as well hahaha.
Missionary work is a fun, uplifting, happy... if it doesn't feel that way... then there is probably something that needs to change. I love being a missionary. I love helping others. I love being one of God's tools and I hope He uses me often. (go easy and don't break me though;))
Shout out to my mom and to Aunt Lou! Thank you so much for the packages! My companion and I are practically diving into candy every chance we get!
Elder Crandall the pan handler